I have had a revelation:
Surprisingly, I have come to have a intimate relationship in the past 7 months.
A very unexpected and unwelcomed one.
I have an intimate relationship with my grief.
I wake up in the morning and it is there in bed with me.
Against every wish, I rise and the grief is in my bones, sharing my breakfast.
Off to work, it sits in the passenger seat like we are one.
School events, grief is there as I cheer and I as suppress my anger.
Quiet moments are the worst, grief lays over me and I can not hold the tears back.
With every song, smell, movie, meal and sound it is there.
Every key in the door, grief greats me and reminds me of it presence with silence.
Closing my eyes, still there waiting for sunrise and another day to share.
The most intimate worldly relationship I have every known was ripped away and now there is ....... God and I cling to his robe and ask for mercy.