Friday, September 19, 2014
I watched a movie that highlighted the power of love and an underlying message to simply live each day as if it were your last. I found myself understanding that it is the power of love that makes this journey feel so impossible. If I had not loved and been loved so deeply I would not miss it so much. I kept thinking, if I could go back in time, I would have a conversations with him and tape it so that I replay it in times when I have doubt. I would take in and appreciate every little small moment not just the big ones. In my personal, intimate world, I would engrave every touch, smell, word and noise in my memory so that I never forget. I still wear my ring, have pictures everywhere, spray his cologne and wear his clothing so that I don’t forget. Normal? Not sure. Even if someone were to say it wasn’t, it would make no difference to me.
I find myself wondering that if in time I am able to embrace my future does that mean saying goodbye? I have not and I am not willing to do that. So now what?