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Thursday, February 12, 2015

Finding your own way

So interesting how men and women deal with the death of their spouse.   I came across the below.

" Findings from various studies: In the first year after a spouse’s death, 54% of men have a sexual relationship, compared with 7% of women. By 25 months after a spouse’s death, 61% of men had a new relationship, versus 19% of women, and 25% of men had remarried, versus 5% of women."


 “Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship.”:
  • There is no set timeline for moving on. Some people need a lot of time to grieve. Others are ready to date pretty soon. Only you will know what is right for you.
  • Ask yourself: Am I ready to trust somebody again? And am I ready to care about another partner?
  • Your children may not be thrilled that you want to meet someone. But if you’re happy and balanced, you’ll be a better role model and a happier person overall. Talk to your children, no matter their age. Tell them why you are dating. Explain no one will ever replace their other parent. Reassure them that you will be safe and cautious.
  • You don’t have to let go of your positive feelings about your spouse and marriage. You aren’t looking to replace that person. Your spouse was unique. If you take that as a given, you can move forward.
  • Cope with the loss itself: Talk with others. Join a support group. Join a special activity group to meet others and do things that matter to you.
  • Stay hopeful and optimistic. Remember, you can and will find love again. You are never too old. Don’t let yourself feel pressured to make decisions you aren’t comfortable with.
  • We change our values and needs as time goes on, and especially after the loss of a spouse. Identify your needs and desires, and what values are important to you. Identify what you want in a new mate.
  • Think about what you liked and disliked in your first partner to help define what you want. If you know what you are looking for, you’ll be more likely to find that person.